The Joys of Writing

Yesterday I made the decision to stop working on the novel I had been editing for the last five months.

This was to be my next baby I was to ship to publishers and agents, hoping for that big contract. I had written the first draft a few years ago, and put it away afterwards to concentrate on getting The Mother up to scratch to send off.

So, earlier in the year, not long after I had received the call to say The Mother had been accepted for publication, I dove straight into editing this new story - working title The Save.

It was going along so well. I was happy with the changes I had made, I was close to half-way through the second draft...and then it happened.

Well, in truth, it had been on my mind for the last few weeks, but I (stupidly) tried to ignore them and I pushed on.

But they wouldn't go away. They grew. They became so big that I could no longer ignore them:Doubts.

Those horrible, annoying, frustrating little niggles in the back of your mind that warns you that something ain't right in Chinatown, Jake.

Most of the time these doubts are just the writing equivalent of cold feet on a wedding day. You think to yourself: is this good enough? Am I exploring every possible avenue with the story and characters? Writers are generally a paranoid, insecure bunch of people, so these doubts crop up fairly often.

Usually that's all they are - just paranoia.

But sometimes, they're more than that. Sometimes, it's your body's way of telling you to stop what you're doing, take a step back - this ain't working.

And that's what happened yesterday. I finally had to listen to those doubts and accept them for what they were - signs that the direction the novel was going in wasn't the right one.

I don't know what direction the novel will take; if I'll continue it at all. It may end up being a novella - who knows?

So what am I doing now? Well, thankfully I have another, close-to-completed first draft of a novel sitting waiting to be edited that I'm going to be working on instead.

It's a story I wrote a long time ago, after finishing The Last Motel. It's my favourite thing I've written. It'll be the longest and most ambitious work to date.

And it scares the hell out of me.

But I'm going to dive in and hope for the best.

Ahh...the joys of writing.

The Bitter Sting of Rejection

Rejection hurts. That’s a fact of life. Whether it’s a rejection from that cute girl you hoped to take to the school formal, or losing out on that job you so desperately wanted.

It’s no different with writing. Whether experienced pro or beginner, every time you get that email or letter containing those dreaded words “…but we regret to inform you that…” you can’t help but feel bitter and sad.

I recently received a rejection from an anthology I had hoped to get into (obviously, or I wouldn’t have submitted). Like every story, I had worked hard on it and thought it had a damn good chance of getting in. But it was not to be. Ah well, shit happens and all that.

But it occurred to me, one day whilst shelving children’s books at the library (yes, these are the things I contemplate as I shove Enid Blyton books into their proper spot); there are stages of grief after getting a story rejection.

Well at least, there are for me.

Bear with me here.

The first is shock. Most times I stare at the computer screen or at the letter for a long time, just trying to process what it is the words were saying (namely – rejected!!).

Then comes anger. “Fuck you, it was a great story! You’re just too damn idiotic not to recognise the brilliance of my work. You’re just interested in by-the-numbers crap written by your mates, not my masterpiece.” And so on and so forth. You get the idea.

Next comes doubt and self pity. “Was it any good? Maybe it really was crap. Oh shit, what am I doing writing – I’m a hack. They were right. I’m never submitting a story ever again.”

Lastly, is reason and acceptance. You realise that more than likely, it wasn’t that the story was a steaming pile of dog-turds (well maybe that’s the case sometimes), but that it simply wasn’t the right story for that particular antho/magazine etc. Life goes on and “hey, I just thought of another great idea for a story…”

I go through these stages every time I get a rejection. I think next time it’ll be different, but most of the time, it’s not. Sometimes the stages come in rapid succession; I’ll go from the second to the third in a matter of minutes. Other times it might take days to run the course.

But in the end, I get over the rejection, file it away with all the others, and continue writing.

Because if you’re a writer, that’s what you do.

Yes rejection hurts, but it’s part of the business. It’s part of any business and you just have to learn to live with it.

It makes the acceptances that much sweeter.